Cuddy's Kangaroo Blues
by Magical Flying Blue And White Cat
Summary: Cuddy gets all frantic when the hospital recieves a thank you letter from Australia saying they are going to send a Kangaroo as a gift.
1. Chapter 1

**Just an idea I had, hope you like it. Meant to be a bit of fun.**

Cuddy sat in her office on the telephone. House stood outside and watched contently as she stared at him, apparently frustrated that he wasn't in the clinic and while she was on the phone there was nothing she could do about it. After House heard her say "Thank You" he thought it was the end of the conversation so he bolted so Cuddy couldn't tell him off for not being in the clinic if he was.

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House sat in the clinic, staring at his Nintendo DS screen while another annoying patient sat and waited for him to treat their ailment of a runny nose. Cuddy walked into the room, looking rather frantic.

"Hello Dr Cuddy," House said cheerfully.

"Dr House, do you ever read your own mail or does Cameron always do it for you?" Cuddy asked, visibly annoyed.

"That would be the second option," House said, continuing to play his game and not look at Cuddy.

"Then that would explain the pile of letters gathering in your in-tray, and this," Cuddy said, showing House a letter that looked like any other.

"Chase is meant to answer my mail when Cameron is away, and Foreman to do it when both of them are away," House continued, not taking any notice of Cuddy's fuming face, "I must tell them the order of mail-readers."

"Chase doesn't know he is meant to be answering your mail?" Cuddy replied, now looking like she was going to burst.

"I wouldn't say he doesn't know, I would say not informed," House said, finally looking up at Cuddy annoyed after dying on his game.

"Read this!" she said, still waving the letter in House's face. House picked it out of her hands and it read the following;

_Dear Doctor Gregory House on behalf of the Princeton Plainsborough Teaching Hospital,_

_We, Doctor Robert Chase's family from Australia would like to thank you for supporting him for the time he has worked for you by giving you a small gift to remember his country of origin, Australia. Please make sure you have space for it, as it is very valuable, a kangaroo._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Rod Chase, Uncle, on behalf of the Chase Family_

"A Kangaroo!" Cuddy screamed hysterically, "We can't have a Kangaroo at the hospital!"

"Get Chase to wring them and tell them to keep it," House said calmly to the distress of Cuddy.

"That would be rude," Cuddy said, still frustrated.

"What does that word mean?" House said smirking, "give it too the zoo, or the Humane Society or something,"

"What would the zoo say if we turned up with a Kangaroo? And the Humane Society wouldn't like it either if a Hospital of all places turned up with a Kangaroo either," Cuddy continued.

"Ok then, I'll ask Chase to tell me what it eats and it can live in my office," House said looking back down at his DS. Still pulling her hair out, Cuddy stalked out of the room.

The patient sat there and stared at House, "Can I go now?" they squeaked.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sounds like people all have different ideas about this kangaroo! The idea actually came to me while I was walking the dog the other morning. Don't good ideas always come at the strangest times!**

House walked into the conference room where Foreman and Chase were sitting reading medical journals, totally ignoring each other. "Party time Chase," House said with a grin, "You ever seen a kangaroo?" he continued.

"What are you talking about?" Chase asked puzzled.

"I want you to tell me everything you know about Kangaroos," House replied.

"Why?" Chase continued to press him for information.

"They hop," Foreman butted in, "What is the point in this? Are we treating a kangaroo?"

"Since when have you thrown a boomerang?" House asked Foreman annoyed.

"Why?" Chase continued to ask.

"Ask Cuddy," House said striding into his office. Chase gave a quick glance at Foreman and then the both of them shrugged and sat back down and continued what they were doing.

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Cuddy was sitting in her office with a pile of phone books sitting on her desk. She was wringing anywhere that might just slightly be interested in having a Kangaroo, but everywhere and everyone she had called so far thought she was joking and hung up or just plainly refused. After a couple of hours she gave up and slammed the top phone book shut. She picked up the letter again and stared at it, thinking maybe she should just call the zoo and forget about that she worked for the hospital for a second, or maybe she just should call them back and ask them to keep the kangaroo. She got up, stalked out of the room and headed to House's office on a mission.

"Well," she snapped, slamming her fist on his desk waking him up from his nap, making him jump.

"No Cuddy, I will not let you keep the kangaroo, as the letter is addressed to me it is mine," House said at the top of his voice trying to get Foreman and Chase's attention. "I spoke to Chase and he didn't seem to know anything, and Foreman, well, I think he is jealous of Chase," House continued in his loud tone. Foreman had now walked into the room.

"What is going on?" he asked, walking into the room.

"See, I told you he was jealous of Chase," House whispered loudly to Cuddy, who rolled her eyes frustrated.

"I'm going to have to call the Chase family in Australia," Cuddy stated turning around and heading out of the office. Foreman looked at House puzzled.

"I wouldn't," House called out after her, "for all we know they could be in the Australian mafia and come and hunt us down,". With this comment Cuddy stopped in the doorway, turned around, and sighed. She then continued walking to her office, continuing to wonder what to do.

Chase had finally woken up to the fact that they were saying his name a hell of a lot. He also went to House's office and stood next to Foreman.

"Is your family in the mafia by any chance?" House asked, getting up to go and see his only friend, Wilson.

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"I here you have Cuddy in a spot of bother," Wilson said to House as he sat down in a chair opposite his desk.

"Really? What about now?" House asked smirking, "I did all my clinic hours this morning," he said proudly as a child would if they had done all their chores.

"She said something about a kangaroo, so I was guessing maybe Chase did something else?" Wilson asked, prodding House for information. House pulled the letter out of his pocket and handed it to a way to eager Wilson. After a moments silence he had read it.

"A Kangaroo? The hopping alive kind of Kangaroo?" Wilson asked with a shocked face, "Does Chase know about this?"

"I suppose, but I thought the whole family was doctors, not exactly the kind to keep warm, fuzzy native fauna in their backyards," House replied. The door slammed open and an infuriated Cuddy stood their, her eyes squarely on House.

"I just got a message from the post office," Cuddy said in a surprisingly calm voice for her expression, "the Kangaroo is going to arrive in the morning."

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**One more installment after this! Brace Yourselves to find out what the kangaroo looks like!**

Cuddy paced back and forth in her office, still trying to figure out what to do with this Kangaroo. It was too late to call the Chase Family now since the Kangaroo was probably already in the country. She walked to the tap to get a glass of water and looked at the clock. It was 3am in the morning. She had been pacing her office all night. _Damn House! _She thought to herself sighing.

House and Wilson sat in House's office asleep, neither had gone home. Wilson because he wasn't on good terms with his wife yet again for working too hard and House, well he had nothing better to do than to be there for Wilson. Both Foreman and Chase had gone home the night before.

Cuddy still paced her office wondering what to do. She could not remember anything causing this much grief for her. Suddenly she had an idea.

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Cuddy ran up the stairs to the roof as fast as she could in her high heels and in a skirt, almost tripping several times. She looked around. Perfect. Just enough space to temporarily keep a kangaroo, although the employees who smoked wouldn't be too happy. She then ran down the stairs to House's office where she knew the two boys would be.

Pushing the glass door open in a flurry, she was most annoyed to find the two boys asleep while she was busting her gut trying to find a place to put this kangaroo. She saw House's cane hanging next to his leg which was resting on the desk so she picked it up.

_WHAM!_ She whacked the cane on House's desk as hard as she could and Wilson and House both jumped a metre high, extremely shocked looks on their sleepy faces.

"Here I am, worried about your job, House and welfare of this hospital and here you are, asleep?" Cuddy said infuriated again.

"I wasn't actually asleep," House said snatching his cane off Cuddy, "We were just resting our eyes."

"And thinking at the same time," Wilson added blinking profusely, apparently trying to get the sleep out of his eyes.

"I have a place to keep the kangaroo for a while," Cuddy said.

"I thought we settled that, in my office," House said, "There is a nice corner over there for it's bed, and it can have Chase's seat in the conference room, Chase can always sit on the floor."

"The roof," Cuddy suggested triumphantly totally ignoring House's proposal.

"You can't keep a kangaroo on the roof!" Wilson said in opposition, "That's almost as bad as House's idea and he was only joking,"

"Well, do you have any better ideas, or will I have to give it your office Dr. Wilson?" Cuddy replied. Cuddy sat down in House's chair, as House was now pacing around the room. She then reached for his scotch bottle and took 3 loud gulps before putting it down and putting her feet up on the desk herself and closing her eyes.

"Wow," Wilson said staring at her shocked. House poked her with his cane with no response, and took a seat next to Wilson on the other side of his desk.

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Foreman strode into House's office for work at 7am, only to find him but Cuddy and Wilson as well all asleep. Foreman saw the near-empty scotch bottle on the table and shook his head and smiled before poking Cuddy on the arm to wake her.

"Oh crap," Cuddy said jumping up and again going for the scotch bottle, this time to finishing it off. She then walked out of the office headed for the lift.

A man with a very large box and a clipboard stood outside her office.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**I have had sooo much fun writing this!**

"Is Doctor Greg House or Doctor Lisa Cuddy here?" the man who looked like he had a few too many big macs asked Cuddy, "I have a delivery from Australia, a Rod Chase."

"The kangaroo?" Cuddy said concerned.

"Um yes, just sign here," the man said giving the clip board to Cuddy and getting an envelope out of his pocket. Foreman, House and Wilson had walked up behind Cuddy and were watching her intently, to her disgust. "Where would you like it?" the man asked. Quite a crowd was gathering now.

"In her office," House spoke up. Before Cuddy could reply, the box was being wheeled through the doors and being placed next to the desk.

"And here," the man said, handing Cuddy the envelope, "the message I got was to tell you to read this first."

"Thank you very much," House said in his sarcastic tone, smirking at Cuddy. The man turned around and walked out the building.

"There is a kangaroo in my office," Cuddy said in disbelief, "A kangaroo!" She opened the envelope to find another letter.

_Dear Doctor Gregory House on behalf of the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital,_

_We hope you like this gift. As I said previously, make sure you have space for it, as it is very valuable. If you have any questions about it, just ask Robert._

_Yours Sincerely, _

_Rod Chase on behalf of the Chase Family_

Cuddy read the letter out to everyone and then shook her head at House at the end.

"Didn't it say ask Chase if there is any questions? Did anyone ask Chase if he knew it was coming?" Cuddy asked, glaring at House, again fuming.

"Does dropping hints count?" House asked cautiously as Cuddy looked like she was going to explode. There was a moment of silence as House looked anywhere in the room but at Cuddy's eyes, which were scanning around the three men standing in front of her.

"C,c,c,c…can we open it?" Wilson suggested shyly.

"Are you crazy? You think letting it loose in the office of the Dean of Medicine at a hospital is a good idea" Cuddy said. House walked over to the box and grabbed a pair of scissors off Cuddy's desk. Before anyone could object he ripped the tape with the scissors. Everyone's eyes were glued.

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In the meantime, Chase strode through the main doors of the hospital, lazily whistling Waltzing Matilda. He opened the doors, greeted the receptionist and headed for the conference room upstairs. Unbeknown to him, there was an awful commotion going on just metres away from him caused by his family.

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As House pulled back the cardboard flaps on the top of the box, a layer of bubble wrap was revealed. "Kangaroo in a cardboard box wrapped in bubble wrap?" Foreman said puzzled. House then ran the scissors down the sides of the box, revealing a giant 4 foot gold-plated kangaroo with a small door at the back.

"My gosh they are rich!" Wilson said after a rather long silence.

"I said it should go in my office," House added. There was another envelope sticky taped to thekangaroo which Foreman pulled off and read out.

_Dear Doctor Greg House and the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital,_

_Sorry for the inconvenient size of the kangaroo. As I said in the original letter it is very valuable and if you do not wish to keep it, please send it back. Enclosed is a certificate of authenticity. Don't forget to open the door in the back! Please give the contents of the kangaroo to sick children!_

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Rod Chase and the Chase Family_

House opened the back of the kangaroo and it was packed to bursting point with small, fluffy toy kangaroos wearing hats with corks hanging off them and waving Australian flags.

"It finally got here," a voice came from the door. It was Chase leaning against the doorpost lazily, eating an apple. Cuddy looked like she was about to scream in frustration.

**Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!**


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